Sequels always suck. My nemesis the rat is back. This time they have taken up residence in my crumbling shed. It's very disconcerting to open the shed to get my lawn mower, only to see several little rodents scramble around. It's pretty much why I haven't mowed the lawn in eight months.
Jill kept saying that the rodents were getting into the compost pile.
"Uh-uh." I replied. "Compost is a force for good."
"Yes, they have. It's why there are coffee filters all over the backyard."
I had seen the filters, but only thought that the wind had been blowing them out of the pile. Turns out, the little bastards have a thing for coffee. Touche', rodent.
But this weekend, I decided to take back the shed. I cleaned out the shed, throwing away all sorts of random, partially-eaten pots, yard equipment, and a surprising amount of windshield wiper fluid. And, about 10,000 acorn shells. Apparently, the rats have been living on acorns, coffee, and random solvents.
I went back to the store and bought all of the rat products they had. Snap traps, glue traps, dvd's of Texas Republican House members cutting funding for everything.
I set the traps, laid out the glue strips, and put the dvd on a continuous loop. That afternoon, I went back to the shed to put my rake in there when I saw that one medium-sized rodent was stuck in a glue trap on a top shelf. Turns out I hadn't read the directions. The glue is not in fact lethal, just glue. The thing stared at me and wiggled to get free. I'm glad the neighbors are out of town, or their children would have learned some new words, in multiple languages.
I shut the door and scurried inside. I was unsure what to do. My options - whack the rat, finishing him off; gently set him free; or leave him to die a slow, horrible death. Remembering my last war, I decided to do nothing and hope for the best. The next morning, I peeked in. The damn thing had flung himself off the shelf and gotten free, only to get his tail ensnared in a snap trap, which set off another snap trap and was stuck to a different glue trap.
This rodent was sacrificing himself so that his family could be free.
I did the only thing I could do. I shut the door and hoped the problem would take care of itself.
It did. By the next morning, when I opened the shed, there was a fairly large hole in the back of the shed, the glue trap / snap trap trail was stuck in it, and my rat nemesis was gone. And the Texas House had cut funding for education!!!
Not only am I not going back in the shed, I am fairly certain there will be some counter-attack led by a rat with a broken tail and glue stuck all over his little rat body. Pray for me.
And could someone lend me a lawn mower?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
we had a rat in our garage and tried the glue trap too. it got stuck right in the middle of dinner and could be heard squealing as it dragged itself free.(Jack, as he eats his pizza "what's that noise?") UGH, UGH, UGH! Make sure you seal the hole it chewed and any other openings or it WILL be back.
Post a Comment