I've Always Been a Smart-Ass

Actually published Letters to Editor:

Houston Chronicle 10/4/2000

Build it for the twins

My wife and I are expecting twins early next year. Like the owners of the big sports franchises here in town, we have decided that our house is too small to meet our needs. So, how do we get on the ballot to get a taxpayer-supported, shiny new house?

It wouldn't take as much money as an arena. I think the Hotel Occupancy Tax from a La Quinta Inn or two would cover it. We probably wouldn't want luxury boxes, but we could easily grant corporate naming rights. We could have the Enron Nursery, the Texaco Playroom or even the Compaq Changing Table.

Sure, the usual people would be against the ballot measure, (Republicans, anti-property tax people, etc.) but maybe someone at the Chronicle could take up our cause and write supportive columns. I know the sports writers are currently busy touting the other (and I must add, much more expensive) public housing subsidy for the Rockets and Comets. But I'd even be happy to create a Twins Authority and invite city and county officials to spend money and time to plan and lobby, if that's what it will take.

Russell A. Smith, Houston

Houston Chronicle 11/16/96

Expensive humps

The city is spending $1.5 million to construct 1,300 road humps. That comes to $1,153.85 per hump. What are we doing, getting baseball players to build them?

Russell A. Smith, Houston

And one not so smart-ass:

Houston Chronicle 7/4/95

The belief system of liberals

By RUSSELL A. SMITH
I notice with amazement how many letters decry "liberals" and "bleeding hearts." As a person who calls himself liberal, I would like to explain to these (very often) angry people what the word really means.

Liberals believe it is more important to educate our children, keep them safe, provide jobs, job training and day care for the unemployed, underemployed and oppressed, and make sure that no one falls through the cracks in our society - than it is to build more prisons, bicker about assault weapons and attack people who are different from us. In essence, instead of alleviating problems, liberals believe in preventing them.

Think how much money could be saved in rehabilitation and incarceration alone if every child did not have to worry about hunger, could get a good education, had a safe neighborhood in which to thrive, and knew that jobs would be available when they got out of school. By attacking poverty, homelessness, discrimination and oppression at its roots, we would not have to Band-Aid the results of our lack of action later on.

Liberals agree that problems and inefficiency exist in our institutions and government. We want these institutions fixed, not disposed of. Liberals believe in the worth of every individual, regardless of skin color, language, ethnic heritage, religion, gender or sexual orientation.

Contextual factors in a person's environment are important to liberals, as is self-determination. And yes, we believe in teaching values to children and that each person must have personal responsibility for his/her own decisions.
I have not taken a poll of all "liberals" to gain a consensus. This letter is a generalization in response to the extreme over-generalizations I have been reading. Please take the time to understand who you are demonizing before you speak so harshly of liberals in the future.