Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Who the HELL is my demographic?

My little blog that could is garnering quite the worldwide attention. I recently got this e-mail:

"We have reviewed your blog on behalf of one of our clients that would be interested in placing advertising with you. We'd like either a 150x150 button, 160x600 skyscraper or 468x60 full banner (or footer). Alternatively, we may be interested in text-only advertising.

This would be a weekly, monthly or yearly arrangement. In either case
we will require a one time, one day (24 hours) free placement in order
to test the quality and quantity of traffic your website can actually
provide*. Within this interval, we will make a final determination,
based on the traffic volume, quality, and your asking price. Should
we find your terms acceptable, this trial day will count towards the
agreed interval.

Kindly let us know if you would be interested, which arrangement best
suits your editorial needs, and what rates you would like to charge.
We prefer using PayPal but may be able to accommodate alternative
payment methods.

Thank you.

*Please note that we employ software that reliably detects autoclick
and autosurf bots, pay per click and paid to surf type traffic, and
other such non-human traffic. This may be a concern for you,
especially if you are buying "bulk traffic", or employing the
services of dubious "SEO experts".


I have to admit that I only really understand about 73% of this e-mail. Those dimensions seem awfully square for a skyscraper. I'm a little scared of being attacked by "autosurf bots." And who the hell are "SEO experts"? And are there legitimate ones or just dubious ones?

So, the part I do get is that they'll monitor activity on my blog for an interval, and then entertain a quote from me for placing an ad. My question is, what is their cost / benefit analysis ratio? Does my one visitor a week equate to a cost of $0.03 for an ad? Or perhaps that one visitor IS the target. Kelly, are you looking to buy anything? And if so, what? That could up my price.

Of course, I am so wary of anything I get over e-mail, that this also could be an elaborate ruse to, well, to do something nefarious! This could be some new scheme from the Nigerians and their stranded millions. Or a hostile attempt from dubious SEO experts!

And THEN!!!! I get a comment from someone who likes my blog and directs me to his/her blog. Which looks completely lovely but is entirely in Portuguese. And seems to be about Brazilian digital television. Kelly, are you interested in buying a Brazilian television station?

I absolutely know there is some connection between this and the missing Brazilian purple martins. There has to be. Damn you, dubious SEO experts!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I regularly read your blog, Russell! I tell Stacy when he should log on and take a perusal... I get annoyed when you take a longer than I think is a reasonable time to put something new on, but then take great (GREAT!) delight when you have posted again. Unfortunately, I seem to read quicker than you write. And yes, I do believe you are writing for my sole entertainment (which I REALLY appreciate!). I very rarely, i.e. never, purchase or click on adverts. Just FYI. p.s. this is Holly, your sister-in-law. I didn't want to be anon but I didn't understand what the comment board wanted from me. I don't think I have an URL.

Anonymous said...

You have 3 viewers apparently now... Kelly, Cary (me) and Anonymous!