As a life-long Texan, I feel I must personally issue an apology for releasing another idiot Governor on the world. The last one worked so well as President, we decided to send ya'll another one. (We're fixin' to send him to all ya'll).
We're sorry about that. And for other things we have unleashed upon the world. But, we are also proud of some things that leech over the Texas border.
We're sorry - for Ross Perot, Karl Rove, Phil Graham, and Tom DeLay (especially Tom DeLay).
You-re welcome - for Ann Richards, Barbara Jordan, and Molly Ivins.
You're welcome - for Tex-Mex food.
We're sorry - for refineries, Halliburton, and well, Halliburton.
You're welcome - for Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and Waylon Jennings.
You're welcome - for the Dallas Cowboys. Though we are somewhat regretful for Dallas in general. You're welcome for Austin, by the way.
We're sorry - about the Oilers (though you are welcome for Earl Campbell).
You're welcome - for bluebonnets and other roadside flowers.
You're crazy - Ron Paul. I mean you really are nuts. You should get some counseling. Soon.
We're sorry - for many of the Bushes, but not all. You're welcome for Barbara Bush, for instance.
And we are truly, truly regretful for Governor Hair and the possibility that he might become the next leader of the free world. The sad thing is we can't even be excited that in becoming President, he would have to relinquish the Governor's office. Can't say the next Governor HAS to be better. Been there.
We promise not to do it again. Probably.
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1 comment:
I met Barbara and you should be sorry for her too. She is not nice. Laura Bush, however, has very soft hands and takes a nice picture :)
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