What Are You Doing, Dave?

A few weeks back, the family was having a stimulating scientific discussion.  Alexis asked about the "dark side of the moon."  Specifically, why do we only see one side of the moon?

We tried to puzzle it out, whether the moon rotated around the earth without spinning on its own axis, or whether its rotation and movement are exactly in sync with the earth's so that we always just see one side.  I leaned toward the second option, but that seems like an amazingly precise balance.

Not knowing the actual answer, we decided to go to the inter-web.  I pulled out my phone and asked Siri if she knew, but my daughters pointed out that I don't have a smart phone, and therefore should not expect an answer. 

Jill pulled out her new iPhone (new because she had just gotten a replacement after her first one was stolen), and pulled up google.  (She opted to not have Siri either.  We both think Siri is a pretentious bitch, but that's a different post).

As any frequent googler knows, google will try to anticipate your question. She typed into google "does the" and google's first suggestion was "does the moon rotate."  I believe my usually calm wife screamed (or at least shrieked a little).  How in the living HELL did google pull that out of google's ass? 

I spent the next two weeks sweeping our house and cars for electronic monitoring devices, and we were careful not to have any important conversations in the presence of our phones, the computer, or the toaster.

A few weeks later, we told this story to my brother, the tech industry mogul, to see if there is some secret new technology for us to be afraid of that listens to all of our conversations and channels them into search algorythms.  He denied it, and then pulled out his smartphone.  He typed "does the" into google and got "does the moon rotate" as well.  So, either the super secret listening algorythmic program was listening again, or the most common "does the" search is about the moon.

So, I'm running a test.  I've put a few expository phrases into google, and come up with the following "suggestions."  You can help me try these out and see if you get the same completely random first hit.  Two things to remember: 1) DON'T say these out loud, as that would make it harder to judge whether it's the strange algorythm or the super secret listening technology.  And 2) I'm guessing it might be affected by your own search history, so if you ever typed "does the blood ever come out of the carpet" or "does the monkey want a sandwich" these might come up first.  So here goes:
"Why does"
Why does kourtney drink butter
"How can"
How can she slap
"When should"
Some top suggestions: when should I neuter my dog, when should you take creatine, and when should I take a pregnancy test
"Holy crap, I"
Holy crap I look fabulous

Indeed I do.