The Few. The Proud. The Pervs.

Bumper stickers are a window to the soul.  Content, number, placement, color - all say something about you.  We have all seen the old VW with 107 earth-friendly stickers (Co-exist, Be Good to Your Mother, Meat is for Terrible People, etc.). A former co-worker rode a scooter with a Dukakis / Bentsen sticker on it.  Not sure what that means, but I know it means something.  Something important.

In the parking lot of this little Taqueria where I sometimes dine, I came across a car with a variety of bumper stickers, including:
"I'm Not Arrogant, Just Better Than You."
"If You Think You Feel Good, Wait Till You Feel Me" and
"Orgasm Donor."

Lovely.  I really get a picture of this guy.  Certainly single, likely for the foreseeable future.  Someone who lacks anyone that acts as his "filter."  (I call this the Michael Jackson effect.  "Sure, Michael, it's a fantastic idea to own a monkey, sleep naked with children, and get injections of horse tranquilizer.)  And for some reason, I see this guy having a cheesy mustache and wearing a bunch of polyester.  Yes, my image is trending toward 70's porn star.

The thing is, while I am sitting in my car and writing down his bumper stickers, he left the Taqueria and got in his car.  Cheesy 70's porn guy image was a bit off.  Pervy bumper sticker guy is a United States soldier, decked out in full soldier fatigue gear.  He and his three soldier colleagues (two male, one female) pile into his Isuzu Rodeo.

Side note - it's entirely possible that I am now on some Department of Defense watch list.

"Yes, this guy with a fading 'Obama 2008' and 'I Brake for Slowing Traffic' bumper stickers was casing my car.  He could be up to something nefarious." (though I'm guessing nefarious isn't in his vocabulary.  Sure, saying that makes me a little bit of a snob, but I feel justified because I am not an "Orgasm Donor").

The revelation that he was a soldier moved this beyond "Ewww!" Certainly not an inspiring endorsement of our troops.

"Support the Troops, Have Sex With Me"

Thank you for your perv-ice!

* pictures included in post herein were not actually on his car (though the three I noted were).  These are the least offensive of the ones that popped up on a website that actually sells "Orgasm Donor" bumper stickers.  Most of the rest of them were terrible, terrible things that I can't un-read.  DO NOT google that. I'm going to wash my keyboard.