Who Are You Again?

You ever have an old friend who got so successful that he or she is no longer in your league?  One that no longer returns calls or emails due to busy schedules and layers of people??

And have you ever felt completely humiliated that you tell people you know this famous person and No one Believes you?  You show pictures of you and Famous Person together and have people complement your photoshop skills?

One who won't even talk to you at a Family Gathering, even though he regularly terrorized you as his little brother?

Wait, not that one.  I was talking about an old friend from grad school that no one believes I actually know. My friend from grad school, whose husband was our pediatrician. Who got together with me and another social work grad student to plan out a new non-profit to empower middle school girls?  A plan that built a program remarkably like two others already in existence?  Hey, we were social workers, not MBAs! ( though I was also an MBA).

My friend "Denise Jones"* grew to Professor Denise Jones. Then to best selling author Denise Jones who writes about shame. And to Denise Jones who goes on Oprah.

I lost privileges somewhere around Professor Denise Jones.  I was able to actually have a brief chat with her husband Sam, who was the twins' pediatrician.  I related this to the naysayers.

"See, I'm best buds with Denise Jones."

"Um, because you talked with your children's doctor?  I just got my teeth cleaned, which proves beyond doubt that I am dating an Olson Twin."

My chat with Sam was at a book signing I attended where she coincidently just happened to be reading from one of her books. And technically, it was the LAST time I can accidentally show up without legal consequences (or something like that - I threw away the lovely document from the courts).

It's not that I envy or covet the fame or the money.  Denise was my friend and I miss her.  I'm not happy being on watch lists, restraining orders, and having that drone follow me.  We used to talk about the big things in life, like our futures, shame, and if I could have lots of money if she got famous enough to go on Oprah. Now, when there is any communication, it's more like "step back, sir!"; "25 yards means 25 yards", and "next on Oprah, best selling author Denise Jones."

* for legal purposes, names were changed because, well...honestly? I just like changing names.  But then, also honestly, I kinda suck at coming up with fake names.  I thought about Analiece McGillicudy, but that sounded like something from a Seuss book.  Natasha Andropof?  Bond villain.  I'll keep working at it.