Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Did You Do Your Own Dental Work?

I get my hair cut at Supercuts.  I'm not ashamed to admit that.  Partly because I don't really have a complicated head of hair, and partly because I am never going back.

Sunday, I made my last visit to Supercuts.  I didn't realize it was my last visit.  I didn't plan on it being my last visit.

It started as a normal Supercuts visit.  I sat in the uncomfortable chairs until Ricardo called me back.  I grabbed a random magazine to give the illusion of reading so Ricardo would be dissuaded from talking to me.  I took my glasses off, thus making it impossible to read anything in the random magazine. 

(Before "going dark" I saw that I had picked up Guns & Ammo.  Wouldn't be my first choice, but not a bad choice to discourage conversation).

Ricardo was not dissuaded.  He made some small talk, then asked some hair-specific questions.

"When was your last haircut?"
A month ago.
"Do you like it square or rounded in the back?"
Rounded?
(BTW - I never remember which, since I actually never see that part of my head.  I need some type of memory tool to help me keep consistency.  After a few years of switching from "square" to "rounded", I imagine my hairline in the back is some mutated trapezoidal rhombus.  But I can't see it, so I actually don't care that much.)
"Do you use product in your hair?"
No.
"Did you want for it to look like a mullet?"
Um...not particularly.
"Did you cut your own hair?"

I'm sorry, what?

I put down Guns & Ammo and looked at him in the mirror. 

It was about then that I realized that the article I was reading ("Stockpiling Semi-Automatic Ordnance Before Obama Comes to Your Door to Personally Take it Away") was upside down, but no matter.

No, mother-f%$#@er, I did not cut my own hair.  Supercuts cut my hair.  In this chair.  Some nice lady named Rhoda.  Or Margene.  About a month ago.  And she rounded (or squared) the back.

In what context is that a helpful question?  Ricardo went from "guy gathering relevant job-related information to help ensure the best customer service experience" to prick.  And I'm guessing that Supercuts has quite a few return customers, so there was more than a passing chance that my last haircut was from his establishment.

I've even tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I am at a loss to come up with a non-prick explanation.  Or to imagine other contexts where this question would not make you a prick.

"Did you make your own clothes?"
"Bless your heart.  You did that all by yourself?"
"You are your own therapist, aren't you?"

So, I am not returning to Supercuts.  Even though Ricardo actually did a damn good job on my hair.  Rhoda commented on it as I was leaving.

On an unrelated topic, hypothetically, if one was to start cutting their own hair - do they still make the Flowbee?

1 comment:

Kelly said...

If you get to Dallas our cousin Susan cuts hair. Well, at least she used to....She cut 1/2 my bangs to my scalp once right before we were going to church, possibly for Easter. Actually it probably wouldn't be worth the trip, come to think of it :)