Everyone is proud of their honor student. Probably proud of their below average children as well. But since when has the back of the minivan become the one-stop shop for pedophile research?
Case in point: in two minutes following behind them, I learned this from the back of a Grand Caravan yesterday:
The family has a mom, dad, two daughters, and a son. (Plus a dog and what looks like either a cat or a weasel).
The older girl is named Megan, and she is number 4 on her middle school volleyball team.
The younger girl is named Kaitlyn and is involved in cheerleading.
The boy (Johnny) plays baseball (his number is 7).
The oldest daughter's Myers-Briggs assessment is INFP.
The family is proud of their honor student (singular, so two of them may be stupid).
Somebody (and I am only guessing that it's the mom) would "Rather be Quilting"
Not to mention the fact that I could have taken down their license plate # (DRU 891) and followed them to see where they lived (3419 W. Buckington Lane).
Were I a pedophile, which I'm not, all of this information would be gold.
"You must be Kaitlyn. How's your weasel?"
"Johnny, your mom told me all about you when we were quilting together. How's the baseball going?"
"Megan, I'm like you - my primary mode of living is focused internally, where I deal with things according to how I feel about them, or how they fit into my personal value system."
As you could see, I probably wouldn't be that good at this (because I'm not a pedophile). But the point is still valid. Leave the personal stuff off the van.
Or, better yet, set a trap for the pedophiles by putting on completely random bumper stickers that don't relate to your family at all! Then you could catch them. When a strange man approaches your kids and says "I come from a family of gypsies just like you!" or "How is the shark taming going, LaWanda?" - you can mace them and call the police.
1 comment:
I think Daddy is the quilter
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