I have an uncanny ability to puff up in people's memories. It's the only way to explain it. Over and over again, people who I have not seen in a few weeks / months / years tell me "you have lost weight!" Once or twice could be chalked up to politeness. One or two people could be attributed to them individually (they could be the rare type of nice people you know that always says something nice). But I get this all the time. From many different people.
It would be great if I was losing weight and people were noticing. Or conversely, I could live with the comments as sarcasm if I was actually gaining weight. But no, I have been the same weight (plus or minus about a pound) for at least three years.
So the only logical explanation is that absence makes the Russell grow larger. I am thinking of ways of putting your memory of me on a diet, and getting it regular exercise. I worry that your memory of me drinks too many beverages with high fructose corn syrup. I believe your memory of me may be at risk of Type II diabetes. Please, when you think of me, think of me eating brocolli and walking regularly. Only you can help your memory of me lose the weight I seem to have gained since you last saw me (which I haven't).
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2 comments:
That is too funny! Every time I see you, I always think you have lost weight :) Big or small, you are always my very favorite brother-in-law!
Yea! I'm not alone!!! My in-laws send me clothes for Christmas each year and always in large or extra-large. "I'm a small!" I want to yell at them. Ok...I DO yell it at them, but they live in Florida, so I'm not as brave as it sounds. We see them on a regular basis,so I can only assume they remember me bigger than I am.
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