Always Buy From the Neighbor Kid

Jared, the neighbor kid from down the street (thirteen-ish), rang our doorbell tonight. He is in a class that is learning about business, and as part of the class, they are selling a product. A plastic cutting board. They are learning about selling disposable products made from petroleum.

Be that as it may, my policy is to always buy from the neighbor kid. Not the fast-talking kid in an ill-fitting kid-suit trying to sell me magazines to win a trip, but really it's not for a trip, and the adult who brought him and his five friends to the neighborhood to shill periodicals is waiting around the corner. No, I mean the kid selling tickets for school raffles, little kids selling lemonade, young entrepreneurs (like Jared) selling crap, and Girl Scouts. Especially Girl Scouts. But not in that way. Girl Scouts sell cookies. Really good cookies.

Jared was really selling. He told me all about how sturdy the plastic is. How it is microwave safe. How I can get it in many different shapes. And this was after I already gave him $10. I chose the plastic cutting board in the shape of Texas. It wasn't until 10 minutes after he left that it ocurred to me that in twenty years of cooking, I have never, ever had the need, nor could I think of any situation where I might conceivably have a need, to put a cutting board in the microwave.