How About a Pamphlet?

My wife and I joined the Unitarian Universalist church several years ago. She grew up Episcopalian (Episcopolite?) and I grew up Jewish. The UU church is a good fit for our beliefs. Very progressive, big focus on social justice.

I've been to many different church services over the years - weddings, funerals, pleasing the in-laws. I've been to rockin' Baptist churches, hardcore Catholic Mass, protestant services in Spanish and Latin in Northern Spain, a charismatic speaking-in-tongues nondenominational Easter service in a strip mall in Round Rock, and a really cool Christmas service on a Native American reservation in New Mexico that included fire, guns, and Latin chanting.

When I was 16 and working at HEB as a 'sacker', I got asked about my religious beliefs at least once a month from customers. It was always from a Mormon. I know this because every time I answered that I was Jewish, I would get a pamphlet. Mormons seem to have a lot of pamphlets. I usually got one entitled "How the Mormons are like the Jews." I had a stack of them at home (I didn't throw them away because, well, what if they are right in their beliefs - who wants to piss off the Mormon God?). I'm not sure if they had pamphlets entitled "How the Mormons are like the Hindus" or "How the Mormons are like the Hare Krishnas", but I did see that my pamphlet was one of many that they had at their disposal. The Mormons travel with one of those pamphlet display deals you see at the Comfort Inn that has pamphlets about Wilderness Acres, the Outlet Mall, and the like.

When the pile reached 14 (the number of the apostles), I decided it was probably time to read one. It had some interesting comparisons about how the Mormons and the Jews have been oppressed, believe deeply in family, and are overwhelmingly populated with white people. And then it brought out the big gun - that the Mormons are the "lost tribe of Israel."

Holy Christ! At what point do you stop and ask for directions? I mean, for God's sake, how can you get all the way to Utah from the Holy Land without pulling over to look at a freakin' map.

"Brigham, honey! Are you sure you know where we are going? I mean, we crossed a landbridge over the ocean a few months back. This doesn't look like Palestine to me."

But as a Unitarian, I am open to everyone finding their own path. Even if that path is several thousand miles off-course and is caffeine-free.