Smith is a Common Name

Grandpa was on the television again. Last week he mentioned that someone had been out to interview him about being an older driver (yes, he still drives at 96). He couldn't remember the name of the person or the station, but did remember that the reporter was Jewish and cute. He says he's looking for possible mates for my cousins, but I don't completely believe that.

I tried to press him on what the cute, Jewish reporter asked him. The only info I got was that she drove with him (and filmed him driving). He was unresponsive when I asked if his driving had any "incidents." But I was pretty sure I hadn't heard of any cameramen being run over in the last few days.

My aunt Randy and I concluded that there was no possible scenario in which a 96 year-old man gets filmed driving, has no idea who filmed him, and it turns out to be a positive story. Our biggest hope was that the story would not include names, photos, and contact information of all of G-Pa's loser relatives who let him drive, unleashing this terrible danger on the community. Meaning us.

Randy is clever and resourceful, and looked up all local reporters with vaguely Jewish names. She came up with Shannon Wolfson from Channel 4, e-mailed her, and confirmed G-Pa was going to be on the news last night.

I had drafted my response. "Never heard of him. You know, Smith is a common name." Or, "why don't you go and ask the DPS why they renewed his licence until his HUNDREDTH FREAKING BIRTHDAY!!!!"

But, happily, the piece was not that bad. G-Pa looks relatively coherent. No film of him driving into yards, mailboxes, or neighbors. Had I had been there, I may have suggested that he didn't end with the phrase "No accidents. This time." Oh, and even though Shannon Wolfson is cute, I probably would have made him put some pants on.

Check out the video at the link below. The picture above was not from the driving story - note the pants. The picture is from, well, I think it's from his appearance in Braveheart. "You can take my cane, but you can never take my freedom!" (said with a Scottish accent).



http://www.kxan.com/global/story.asp?s=6835343