The Dad of Affliction

This is "Bread and Grains Week" at Laurel Mountain Elementary School. Jill thought it would be cool if I could bring a bread from my culture and share it with the girls' first grade classes.

"What exactly is a culturally appropriate Unitarian bread?" I asked. "Bread that is accepting of all types of grains, nuts and additives, has the choice of rising or not rising, and could choose to be a salad instead of a bread?"

Jill explained that she was thinking more of the Judaic upbringing I had. Oh. Matzo!

I signed up and went in this morning with a couple of bags of matzo.

The first teacher asked me how it was important to me and my family. It was precisely at this moment when it occurred to me that a tiny bit of research would have been not only appropriate, but prudent.

My Sunday school years kicked in. "Um, it's the bread of affliction. The Jews were living in Egypt under the cruel slavery of Pharaoh, and after plagues of frogs, locusts, a river of blood, and the ritual slaughter of all first-born sons, the Jews had to leave Egypt really quickly and didn't have time for their bread to rise, so they made matzo."



Old Testament-ly correct, but not really what she was looking for in explaining the bread to the six-year-olds. Twenty first graders looked a bit pale.

By the second class, I had a better story.

"The Jews were living in a bad place and had to leave really quickly. They didn't have time for the bread to rise, so they made matzo." Much better.

Teacher: "What's it made out of?"

Me: "I dunno. Probably not yeast?"

Little kid: "Why are there holes on it?"

Me: "I dunno."

Other little kid: "Are there any other breads that are flat?"

Me: "I dunno. Maybe some Indian bread thing."

I imagine the teachers had to talk with their kids today about how some parents are "special," and that we should be nice to all adults, even if they are not as smart as us.