Ingenious Bastard

This is my new car.  It came in the mail to my work on Friday.  No, it wasn't a very big box, just a very small car.  A very small, remote control car.  Some sales rep thought I'd like to have a red Ferrari, remote control car.  Why yes, thank you.  It came with MY NAME ON THE DOOR!  A free, remote control red Ferrari with my name on the door.  Yes, thank you very much.

Small catch.  Looking through the accompanying brochure (which also had my name on it), it asked me to contact Bob the sales rep to learn more about whatever product they were trying to sell me.  And to get - and here's the rub - THE REMOTE CONTROL.  Damn thing is just a large Hot Wheel without the remote (a large, red Ferrari Hot Wheel with my name on the door). 

I don't even remember what the guy was selling - servers, steaks, possibly real red Ferraris.  I do know that I really don't like talking to sales reps.  Nothing against sales reps, I just would rather stick things in my eye than get a hard-sell on some product I don't need.  Though I do like steak.  I think this goes back to my "free" 30-day fitness membership at President and First Lady's Fitness twenty years ago.  I had to sit through an hour hard-sell before getting the free pass.  "But Mr. Smith, you won't see any results in 30 days, and our half-price offer for a lifetime membership expires in 2 1/2 hours!"  The fitness sales guy was so aggressive and obnoxious that I never used the pass.  "I don't understand why you wouldn't want to take advantage of this great offer right now!  It will save you $3,420 a year!" That dude is responsible for ALL of my weight gain for the past two decades.

So, I'm not calling Bob the sales rep.  No matter how delicious his steaks might be.  (OK, it was probably not steaks).  I thought about taking my new toy to some shady tech place to see if they could hotwire a remote for me.  But then I looked up this toy on-line and found you could buy the car AND remote for $28.  Probably not worth $50 to get a bootleg remote.

So now I have a high-performance remote-control red Ferrari with my name on the door that won't drive.  I'm hoping Bob lets this go.  I am not looking forward to getting 1/2 of an iPad.