Friday, April 12, 2013

Meryl Streep Look-Alike Porn

OK, last "look-alike porn" title.  I will say that, already, the "Katie Couric" headline is getting some serious viewing, while the "Barbara Walters" one... well, no one seems to be searching for pornography that features either Barbara or someone who looks similar to her.  There is really only one plausible explanation.  People who view celebrity look-alike pornography are anti-Semites.

On an unrelated topic, the girls were asking questions about Easter on the way over to Grandmommy's house for a nice Easter lunch  (only related in the whole "Jesus was a Jew" kinda way).  They had some really great questions that I myself have always wondered about.  Why is Good Friday "good"? What is a "Maundy"? During Lent, can you borrow things?

Jill and I answered these as best we could.  Jill from her childhood at the Episcopal church, me from just pulling random fake answers out of my ass.  One or both of our answers seemed to satisfy them, until they asked about the whole crucifixion-and-rising-from-the-dead thing.

"So, he died?"
"Yes."
"And then he came back to life?"
"Yes."
Pause.
"Doesn't that make him a zombie?"

I could see their point.  Bitten and blood drained? Vampire.  Scratched and full moon? Werewolf.  Dead and then not dead?  Zombie. Definitely zombie.

"Souls! SOOOOOULS!!!!"

Still, no matter how sound the logic is, it is not the accepted interpretation from the New Testament (after the Book of Matthew, and before the Book of Mark is the Book of BRAAAAAAINS!). Perhaps it'll be in the next update.  "Bible 3.0."

We stressed that this was definitely NOT a theory to test out on others.  In fact, it's probably better if we never spoke of it again.  Good thing no one reads my blog.

1 comment:

holly said...

Ryan has been doing the whole "Jesus is a zombie" thing for years. He just can't get a) why no one has noticed or b) why no one will talk about this. I shush him on the way to our friends annual Easter egg hunt every year. Its a secret.