Spams of the Month

Two spams win my copyrighted "Spam of the Month"© for December.  By the way, there is still time to sign up for the 2014 "Spam of the Month" club.  For only $19.99 a month (with a three-year contract), you will get forwarded the best, most brilliant, and most outrageous spam that finds its way to my inbox*.

* restrictions apply.  Not valid in Guam or American Somoa.  Pre-payment is required.  Any additional payments you may incur from actually clicking on or responding to the "Spam of the Month"® are not included.  Not affiliated with the Hormel Canned and Potted Meat Company.  Options include "Spam of the Jewish Month"₲ with a special bonus spam in the month of Tishrei, and "Spam of the Aztec Calendar Month"₪ which ends abruptly when the world ends, and then re-starts when it doesn't.

On to the "Spam of the Month"™:

1)

Good afternoon, Thanks for your order. Well let you know once your item(s) have dispatched.You can check the status of your order or make changes to it by visiting Your Orders on Amazon.com.

Order Details

Order KN0052836 Placed on December 9, 2013 Order details and invoice in attached file.

Need to make changes to your order? Visit our Help page for more information and video guides.

We hope to see you again soon. Amazon.com It's a fake amazon order!!  I have been known to order a book or three, so it satisfies the "plausible" test for good spam.  It almost gets the grammar correct (though "well" needs an apostrophe).  And I doubt that Amazon ever "dispatches" an order, but that's quibbling. I can see how someone might be tempted to click on the order details.  Except for this:

To:	russarsaga
Cc:	russartiv ; russasm ; russasmith ; russastanley ; russat169 ; russatr ; russaustin62 ; russaver ; russavison ; russaw01
Date:	Wed, Dec 18, 2013 9:11 am

On the order I didn't place, I don't remember giving them eleven e-mail addresses, all a slight variation of my actual e-mail address.  That's just not how I roll.  Never more than eight "russa" return addresses.

2)

white
wedding agency
We would like to invite you to celebrate our wedding in December 29th, 4 p.m. The celebration will be followed by a reception. Please, click here for the full invitation text.If the link are not working, please move the message to"Inbox" folder.
2005 - 2013 Copyright White Agency s.r.o. |   Legal Disclaimer

I love weddings!  Especially White Weddings!  This one came from "Wedding Agent Benjamin Terrell."  It's colorful, elegant, and intriguing.  Of course, it's written as if the "White Wedding Agency" is getting married.  My hope is that it's an inter-racial wedding agency wedding.  Perhaps they are marrying "Black Tie Affairs."  And then they can have light brown baby wedding agencies.

What is a "Wedding Agent"?  Someone who sets up arranged marriages?  Or perhaps someone from the NSA that infiltrates weddings and spies on Americans?  I looked up "s.r.o." on the inter-webs and the most common definitions were "standing room only" and "single room occupancy." I REALLY want to read their legal disclaimer, but that would require an actual "click of spam doom."

This one also doesn't quite get the grammar right.  There is a great deal of money to be made in grammar- and spell-checking of spam.  Upgrade to our premium "Spam of the Month" membership to see the job posting board.