Sad Lib

We are living the saddest Mad Lib ever.

"Today, a young  ___(1)_____ male entered a ______(2)_______ and opened fire, killing ___(3)____ and wounding ____(4)_________.  He was _______(5)________.  Sources say he got his guns from _________(6)__________. Police speculate that he was___________(7)__________.

Conservative pundits, politicians and the NRA spoke out and called for __________(8)_________, and added ________(9)_________.

After a significant public outcry, _________(10)_________ changed."

(1) white; not white
(2) movie theater; daycare; office; church; college campus; mall; school; warehouse;  movie theater (again); military recruitment center; public parking lot
(3) insert any number between 1 and 32 (Virginia Tech)
(4) insert any number here
(5) killed by police; caught by police; found dead by suicide
(6) a gun store legally; his mother; an illegal source; a pawn shop; a gun show
(7) mentally ill; a racist; a disgruntled former employee; an angry ex-husband; a jihadist; influenced by right-wing talk radio and Fox "News"
(8) more people to have more guns; an end to Obamacare; open carry of guns; lower taxes and regulations; Bengazi!!!!
(9) liberals will cynically use this tragedy to push for gun control; Obama is planning to take your guns; if there is ever any restrictions on any aspect of buying / owning a gun (background checks, timing, caliber, amount of ammo, number of weapons, etc.), our Constitution will be invalidated and our liberty will be gone; Bengazi!!!!
(10) nothing (the only correct answer for this one)


I feel so completely defeated and demoralized about gun violence.  So many people die every day from guns (not even talking about the now all-too-often mass shootings) that it is amazing that nothing is being done.  In fact, gun-rights politicians take advantage of mass shootings to advance more-guns-everywhere policies and laws.

The NRA and their politicians do such a good job at terrorizing people (if you think about it - they do have a lot of guns), that even policies that everyone agrees on cannot be passed, and anti-gun politicians come out with tepid calls for moderation.

I am going on the record here.  Feel free to quote this when I run for office.

"If elected, I will take your guns."

This is what the wacko-gun right wing thinks is the agenda anyway, so why not come out with it?  I will work to take all of the guns away from everybody.  I might let you check one out to hunt now and then, but probably only flintlock rifles from the 1800's.

Granted, I have no plans to run for office, and likely if I ever did it would be something small and municipal.  But I will still take your guns.