Escape Velocity

We rented a van to drive to New Mexico for Christmas. An Uplander. "There can only be one!" Maybe that was Highlander. Anyway.

To our surprise, we found that there are roads in west Texas where the speed limit is 80 miles per hour. Stupid people speed. Which correlated to many roadside crosses and an abundance of what we called "road obliteration." At 80, the deer explodes. It's no longer just "kill."

One would think that a speed limit of 80 would be sufficient. But Jill likes to push the envelope. Apparently the troopers take the 80 speed limit very seriously. Just a few mph higher and you break the sound barrier, causing a sonic boom, which would startle the three people who live in west Texas between Ozona and Fort Stockton. Jill got stopped for going 88 miles per hour. Twice. Slowing her average mph to 76, defeating the purpose of going 88. And racking up $1,447 in speeding tickets, defeating the purpose of driving.

She kept trying to explain to the troopers that she needed to drive at 88 to get the flux capacitor to engage. They were not amused.