Diane Sawyer Look-Alike Porn

There are billboards all across Austin advertising the Adult Magaplexxxx (that may be too many X's), apparently an adult bookstore. The billboards feature a smiling picture of a young woman who looks remarkably like a younger Diane Sawyer. The picture is of a sweet, smiling face (nothing that looks like porn - from what I've heard).

I know that there are a multitude of fetishes that people ascribe to, but I was totally unaware that there was a group of people turned on by Diane Sawyer and/or Diane Sawyer look-alikes. Or at least a big enough group of men in Austin who are into Diane Sawyer look-alike porn that it would be cost-effective to have eight billboards to reach them. Who knew?

I was flipping through a magazine over the weekend (a Newsweek! Not one of THOSE magazines), and my eye was caught by the exact same sweet, smiling face. This time it was attached to an ad for Lipitor. I thought "Wow, Diane Sawyer look-alike porn star has high cholesterol!"

But then it clicked. Diane Sawyer look-alike was not a porn star at all. She was clip art! She was a picture you could buy and put with whatever product you wanted to sell.

How much would that suck? You are a model, or a student, or a legitimate Diane Sawyer impersonator, or whatever, and you have some face shots you sell for a few bucks (a few hundred perhaps?) to make ends meet. You fly to Austin, Texas to visit your ailing great aunt Mildred and there, on billboards all over town, you see your smiling face selling the Adult Megaplexxxxx.

And you have high cholesterol to boot!