Cheetopia

Sometimes, it's good to be an American! 

No, I am not veering off into Trump territory here.  Just stay with me.

I teach each summer at the graduate school of social work at the University of Texas.  One class in the evenings.

A little context.  Social work, while a wonderful profession, is a bit, shall we say, down-the-list of prestige majors at UT.  I'm not making a judgement here (I'm a social worker).  UT actually has a web page entitled "Majors at the University, in order of how important they are, how many resources we put into them, and earning potential of graduates who could give back to UT."  Don't believe me?  Go to:  http://utexas.edu/majors-from-best-(business)-to-worst-(social-work)

Most Favorite
Business
Medical School (new in 2016)
Engineering
Law*
Architecture
Pharmacy
Education
Geology
Fine Arts (excluding bagpipe, watercolor, and accordion)
Liberal Arts
Psychology
Conservative Arts
Food Service and Consumer Science
Journalism
Communications
Political Science
Animal Husbandry & Wifery
Philosophy
Fine Arts (bagpipe, watercolor, and accordion)
Social Work
Least Favorite

* while "Law" is a top favorite major of the University, UT acknowledges that most of the actual Law students are, in fact, douchebags.

The school of business is called the McCombs school, after Red McCombs, who I think made Irish hair care products.  The School of Social Work is called the School of Social Work.  Actually, it shares a building with University Reprographics; the University Daycare Center, the Office of Asbestos Abatement; and the College of Accordion, Watercolor, and Bagpipe).

So, I teach in the least favorite major; in the oldest, most in need of repair building (used to be a middle school in the mid 1800's, and then it was an asylum for those with consumption); at night in the summer.

With this context in mind, the School of Social Work, Asbestos and Bagpipes (SWAB), has one sad vending machine in the sad basement, past the piles of asbestos.  By the middle of the summer, the vending machine filler people have long abandoned this one sad machine, and by July there is typically only a smattering of Clark Bars; sugarfree crab-apple flavored Trident; and a can or two of Tab.

But this year, there was a full-on candles-lasted-eight-days miracle!  At the break during last night's class, I carefully traversed the broken wooden stairs into the basement.  Lo and behold, the machine was full!  A cornucopia of Cheetos and Cheeto-related products for all!  More types of Cheetos than one would imagine possible, and certainly more than there should be in the world.

I purchased a selection and brought them back to my class.  Since eating more than one bag is specifically discouraged on the warning label, I passed most of them out to my class.

[It's possible I need to disclose that to the University - either some potential ethics violation or a potential public health risk].

We all enjoyed our Cheeto-feast until we were covered in orange and feeling like crap.

I guess this was about Trump after all.